Mave Serenova

Free tool · for parents and carers

Calm Before the Call

For the moments that make your heart race: ringing the school because your child is late, or walking into a meeting with the school, social care or the council. Take five minutes here first. Breathe, sort out what you can and can't control, check who does what, and write down what you want to say.

Nothing you type leaves this device. There's no login and nothing is sent to anyone.

💛 You are not on your own

Every person on this page, from the school office to the SENCO, early help and the free advice services, is there to support you and your child. Asking for help isn't a sign you're failing. It's what good parents do.

When things feel hard it's natural to want to hide away, not answer the phone or skip the meeting. But hiding usually makes things worse, because worries grow and support can't reach you. Reaching out early, even with a short "we're struggling", lets people help before things get bigger.

What's coming up?

Choose one. The rest of the page changes to fit.

Breathe first: one minute

Your body may be in "alarm mode": a fast heart, a tight chest, racing thoughts. That's normal. A longer breath out tells your body it's safe to slow down.

Ready when you are

Still feeling wobbly? Try 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Look around and name, out loud or in your head: 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 slow breath. This brings your mind back to the room you're in.

What I can control, and what I can't

Worry likes to grab everything at once. Sort each worry into one of two piles. Put your energy into the green pile. The purple pile isn't yours to carry today.

    🟢 I can control

      🟣 Not mine to control

        Sort a few worries above to see your two piles.

        Who's who: signals for schools and government bodies

        Knowing what each service does, and what you're allowed to ask for, takes away a lot of the fear. Each card uses the same three signals:

        • 🟢 What they do
        • 🟡 What you can ask for
        • 🔴 If you need more help

        Remember: these people are here to help you and your child. You're allowed to ask for support, ask questions and ask again. Keep the door open, keep talking and let them in. Accepting support is a strength, and it works best when it starts early.

        General information for England, checked October 2026. It isn't legal advice. Rules are different in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, and they can change. For advice about your own situation, contact one of the free services above.

        My plan

        Write it down so you don't have to hold it all in your head. You can read straight from this while you're on the phone, or print it to take to the meeting.

        Say it like this

        My two piles

        I can control:

        Not mine to control:

        Your plan saves itself in this browser as you type.

        Words that help in the moment

        You're allowed to slow things down. Pick one or two of these to keep in your pocket.

        • "Can I have a moment to think about that?"
        • "Could you explain that in plain words, please?"
        • "Please can you put that in writing for me?"
        • "Who else will be at the meeting, and what is it for?"
        • "I'd like to bring someone with me for support."
        • "Can I have a copy of the notes afterwards?"
        • "What happens next, and when?"
        • "I don't agree with that. Please can you write down that I disagree?"
        • "I'm feeling overwhelmed. Can we take a five-minute break?"
        • "I'd like to get some advice first. Can I come back to you?"
        • "Can I take your name, please, so I know who I spoke to?"
        • "My child does well when… Can we build on that?"

        After the call or meeting: well done. It took courage to show up instead of hiding away. Write down what was agreed in step 4 while it's fresh. Then do one kind thing for yourself: a drink, a short walk, a message to a friend.

        If you or a child are in danger right now, call 999. If you're struggling and need to talk to someone, call Samaritans free on 116 123, any time of day or night, or text SHOUT to 85258. You don't have to manage this alone.

        Tell me what would help. I'm testing this with parents and carers. Want a version for a specific meeting, like an EHCP review or a child protection conference? Send feedback.

        A calming and planning tool. It does not give legal or medical advice.